A Cinema Knife Fight review with L.L. Soares (CKF reviews are two or more reviewers going toe to toe on a single movie, agreeing or not, with a healthy dose of sarcasm.) In the following review, Lauran and Dan Keohane discuss the Magnum Opus (so far) of the Marvel Cinematic Universe:
(THE SCENE: A ravaged alien world. From beneath the rubble
of a crashed spacecraft, LL SOARES and DAN KEOHANE emerge. LS is wearing a
“Team Thanos” T-shirt and DK is wearing a “Team Iron Man” T-Shirt)
LS (spies something shiny on the ground): That wouldn’t be
an Infinity Stone, would it?
DK: No, I don’t think there are any of those left.
LS: Too bad.
DK: So why did you ask me to board the spaceship that just
crash landed on this desolate planet anyway?
LS: To review the new Avengers movie, of course. A lot of
people have been anticipating this one, where the Avengers finally come
face-to-face with the “Mad Titan” himself, Thanos. Why don’t you bring us up to
speed, Dan.
DK: So here we are, ten years after Marvel Studios released IRON
MAN (2008), its first (of many) epic motion pictures in its self-proclaimed
Marvel Cinematic Universe, with the release of what is without a doubt the
culmination of years of carefully-crafted (and, at times, complex) storylines
around the most powerful objects in the universe, the Infinity Stones, and the
sociopathic alien genius Thanos’s (Josh Brolin, NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN,
2007, SICARIO, 2015, and as Cable in the upcoming DEADPOOL
2, 2018) pursuit of them in order to… well, until sitting down to watch
the epic AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR (2018), all we really knew was that
Thanos wanted the stones in order to wield the ultimate power in the universe.
LS: Yeah, that’s all you know if you only know Thanos from
the snippets we’ve seen of him so far in Marvel movies, mostly in “Easter egg”
scenes in the end credits. These movies have been building up Thanos’s big
arrival for a long time now. Remember that he was behind the alien invasion of
earth way back in the very first AVENGERS movie in 2012. It’s about
time the sneaky purple people eater came out and showed his face.
DK: He eats people?
LS: Huh?
DK: You called him a purple people eater.
LS: Like the old novelty song. I didn’t mean it literally.
DK: Okay, I thought I missed a scene.
LS: Although it would be cool if he ate people, wouldn’t it?
On top of being a murdering madman.
DK: Now—and you need to really pay attention to this film,
especially Thanos’s story—we finally understand the reason for this lifelong,
evil quest: Thanos thinks he’s actually helping everyone in the universe, by
killing half of all sentient species, and thus freeing up resources to allow
the other half to live wonderful, happy lives. Pretty big task, and admittedly
very frightening.
LS: What a sweet guy! He just wants to help!
In the comics, he actually does all this mass killing to
impress his sweetheart, none other than the personification of Death. He’s
trying to woo her by delivering as many dead souls as he can. But I guess that
didn’t really translate well in a big blockbuster movie.
DK: INFINITY WARS opens just a few
minutes after THOR: RAGNAROK (2017) ends. Or, I should say, after the first
post-credits scene of RAGNAROK ends, as the last survivors
of the destruction of Thor’s home planet, Asgard, are approached by a massive,
ominous spacecraft. This ship, of course, belongs to Thanos and his powerful
cadre of henchpeople. As the scene opens, they’ve just murdered half of the
ship’s population (after a few more moments the other half die too, not to
worry). Only Thor (Chris Hemsworth, GHOSTBUSTERS, 2016), his brother
Loki (Tom Hiddleston, KONG: SKULL ISLAND, 2016) and
gatekeeper Heimdall (Idris Elba, THE DARK TOWER, 2017) are left, and
currently being tortured by number one henchman Ebony Maw (Tom Vaughan-Lawlor, LOVE/HATE
TV series).
LS: Well, actually Gaping...er Ebony Maw is more like a CGI
creation with Tom Vaughan-Lawlor’s voice. And I guess he acted for the motion
capture effects, too.
DK: The way technology is progressing, it wouldn’t surprise
me in a few years if they make everyone run around with green tights and polka
dots on their face, so they can CGI the cast any way they want. But we digress.
For this discussion, though, let’s just say he plays Ebony Maw.
LS: Okay.
DK: Mr. Maw is torturing them to learn the location of an Infinity
Stone, which everyone watching THOR RAGNAROK knows was lifted by
Loki just before the destruction of his homeworld. It does not go well for most
of our heroes, and anti-heroes. And this is just the first scene for
crying out loud.
This is the first of many extremely dark and violent moments
in AVENGERS:
INFINITY WAR. Thanos and his minions are quickly established as
murderous, powerful creatures with a single focus: acquire all six Infinity
Stones, and heaven help you if you get in their way.
And get in the way our heroes do (just about all of them, with a few exceptions).
The movie is two hours and forty minutes of one insanely beautiful and clever
battle scene after another. It is relentless, all the way until the credits
roll.
LS: And beyond, because there’s yet another of those “end
credit” secret scenes. But just one this time, at the very end of the credits.
People are so used to these things that the entire sold-out audience where I
saw the movie stayed in their seats through every last drop of the credits,
knowing a big end scene would pop up. Have I mentioned how much I hate the fact
that Marvel has made all of us have to sit through all the credits?
DK: I used to love watching the credits. All those people
who worked on the movie. Someone had to give them their due.
LS: Yea, but you told me once you love watching grass grow,
too.
DK: Surprisingly, I didn’t find all the non-stop action to
be too much. Unlike much of CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR (2016),
which was another non-stop action movie/political argument, I personally found it
all a bit tiresome near the end. I think I’m in the minority thinking this,
however. In this case, though INFINITY WAR started with a bang
(literally) and did not let up, I was riveted to every second of it.
LS: Come on, CIVIL WAR was one of the best of the
Marvel flicks! But you’re right about INFINITY WAR. Despite the long run
time and abundance of battles and action scenes, it does keep you involved
throughout. The only time I got even a
little bored was when a horde of nameless creatures swarmed over Wakanda.
But even that lag didn’t last long.
DK: A lot of this had to do with the smart, quick dialogue
between the characters, and the exceptional performances by just about everyone
in the cast. Unlike much of the performances in the final HOBBIT film, where everyone
seemed very tired and ready to go home, the actors in INIFINITY WAR absolutely
brought their A-game, including directing brothers Anthony and Joe Russo (who
also directed all three CAPTAIN AMERICA films so far).
LS: Now I’m glad I didn’t see the HOBBIT movies. But yeah,
there sure are a lot of superheroes
in this movie. Someone should call the Guinness Book of World Records.
DK: After some shuffling and relocating of the cast, we
basically end up with three distinct groups: Thor, who, after meeting up with
the Guardians of the Galaxy, goes with Rocket Raccoon (Bradley Cooper, AMERICAN
SNIPER, 2014) and a sullen teenaged (and as funny as always) Groot (sparingly
voiced by Vin Diesel), heading to an ancient forge planet called Nidavellir,
manned by none other than the always-awesome Peter Dinklage (GAME
OF THRONES TV series) as the last surviving dwarf Eitri.
LS: That’s some big dwarf!
DK: The irony was not lost on me. But Dinklage’s shattered,
brooding Eitri was fantastic, even if he was only in the film for a little bit.
Meanwhile, hunting down Thanos himself are the remainder of the Guardians of
the Galaxy: Peter Quill (Chris Pratt, the upcoming JURASSIC WORLD: FALLEN KINGDOM,
2018), Gamora (Zoe Saldana, STAR TREK, 2009) Mantis (Pom
Klementieff) and Drax (Dave Bautista).
LS: With Bautista’s Drax still stealing every scene he’s in!
That guy always cracks me up. And who knew Thor and Rocket would have such cool
chemistry together? They’re my favorite team in the movie. And, for once,
Gamora has a major role in this one, since she is Thanos’s daughter and all.
DK: Well, she’s really his adopted/abducted daughter. But
it’s nice to see Zoe Saldana’s Gamora get so much screen time in this movie.
And I agree, the scenes with Thor and the Guardians were, as always, show
stealers and very, very funny.
Also hunting Thanos through space, though only because of
events beyond their control, are Doctor Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch, SHERLOCK
TV series), Spider-Man (Tom Holland, HOW I LIVE NOW, 2013) and Iron Man
(Robert Downy, Jr, WEIRD SCIENCE, 1985).
LS: With more funny banter, and the clashing egos of Strange
and Stark.
One thing that puzzled me. They end up on Titan, Thanos’s
homeworld. Everyone keeps saying it’s a planet.
But isn’t it really the largest moon
of Saturn?
DK: Nobody cares.
LS: What, no astronomers in the audience?
DK: Meanwhile, back on earth, the rest of the Avengers
(remember, this is an Avengers movie) gather together after a couple of Thanos’s
groupies try to steal the Infinity Stone embedded in the forehead of the
android Avenger, Vision’s (Paul Bettany) head. This group includes Captain
America (the third Chris); the Scarlett Witch (Elizabeth Olson); the Black
Widow (Scarlett Johansson); a Hulk-less Bruce Banner (Mark Ruffalo); the Falcon
(Anthony Mackie); Wong (Benedict Wong) who is Doctor Strange’s assistant; and
Don Cheadle as War Machine.
And we haven’t even gotten to the second act’s introduction
of the country of Wakanda, Black Panther and everyone there.
LS: Yeah, this movie jumps all over the place, from
different parts of Earth, to different parts of the galaxy.
DK: I have to admit, this may be an Avengers movie, but it
really didn’t feel like it. I mean,
there’s every major character from every major Marvel film, sans DEADPOOL
and ANT-MAN…
LS: Well, Deadpool makes sense because he, and the X-Men
universe, are still controlled by 20th Century Fox. But imagine if
all those mutants were here as well! As it is, the excuse for why Ant-Man and
Hawkeye weren’t in this one didn’t make much sense to me. I mean, how could it
hurt to add two more superheroes to the already huge mix?