A Cinema Knife Fight review with L.L. Soares (one that seems to go against the general grain around this film!). CKF reviews are two or more reviewers going toe to toe on a single movie, agreeing or not, with a healthy dose of sarcasm. The following was actually the last CKF review before Cinema Knife Fight ceased publication. Lauran leads the discussion this time around, on a quest for peace in his heart, while I try to keep him calm:
(WARNING: THIS REVIEW
MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS!)
(THE SCENE: Outside the X-MEN’s mansion. LL SOARES has a
bullhorn)
LS: Come out, come out whoever you are! I know there’s got
to be more X-Men in there than just Colossus!
(Turns to face the audience) Oh, hi. You kind of crept up on
me there. Here I am, trying to get the X-Men riled up so maybe we can have a
little action this time in the column. But they’re not taking the bait. Either
that, or nobody’s home.
(A figure finally emerges from the house. It’s DAN KEOHANE,
with metal skin)
LS: It’s IRON DAN!
DK: Titanium,
actually. You’re wasting your time, by the way. Nobody’s here except me.
LS: You’re an X-Man now?
DK: Trainee. They make me wear a shirt that says it and
everything. It’s kind of embarrassing.
LS: Well, why don’t you take a break from house-sitting and
review the new movie with me?
DK: DEADPOOL 2? Sure. I haven’t got
anything better to do.
LS: Gee, thanks for the enthusiasm.
DL: No offense. It’s just that the X-Men don’t give me
anything to do. I could use a distraction.
LS: Okay, great. I’ll start.
For the record, I loved the original DEADPOOL movie (I gave it
three
and a half knives – I’m surprised I didn’t give it more, check out the
review here). It was a real breath of fresh air among all the formulaic
superhero movies that Marvel and DC were putting out at the time. Not to say
those other movies were bad, they were just a bit predictable. DEADPOOL,
by definition, was unpredictable and fun. And the superhero genre needed a shot
in the arm. Still does.
Of course, DEADPOOL was a huge hit and the rest
is history. And now, we’ve got the inevitable sequel, DEADPOOL 2. A movie I was
really excited about.
DK: Me, too. I tried not to watch the trailers, but they
were too funny not to, unfortunately like all trailers they gave a lot of the fun
stuff away. Not all, but I hate going in knowing too much about a movie. Still,
I was pretty excited to see this. I agree, the original DEADPOOL was refreshing,
both in its approach to the fourth wall, and the R-rated-ness of the violence
and language.
LS: In fact, I’d even heard some buzz that Number 2 was even
better than the first one! Wow! I couldn’t wait...but that buzz was wrong.
DK: I didn’t expect it to be better. To be honest, few
sequels (such as TERMINATOR 2, 1991, and ALIENS, 1986, ever have been), but I
did expect it to be fun.
LS: For the record, T2 wasn’t better than the first one.
It just had a bigger budget. And it introduced the whole “Arnold, you’re not
allowed to kill anyone” bullshit. I hated that! ALIENS was good, but not
better than ALIEN (1979). Although, compared to everything ALIEN-related
that came after ALIENS, it was a pretty good sequel.
DK: T2 was light years better, but I’ll
give you ALIENS wasn’t better, but just as good.
LS: So, back to DEADPOOL 2. Let’s start out with the
story. I actually thought the plot for this new one kinda sucked. We begin,
pretty early on, with something really sad happening (I won’t say what) and it
brings all the comedic, fun stuff to a grinding halt.
DK: Yes! Though I figured what happened would happen—there
was too much of a setup you see in so many movies—it wasn’t surprising. And
there was never an explanation as to who the culprits were.
LS: They were the drug dealer bad guys he started the movie
off fighting with! You need to pay attention. But man, DEADPOOL movies are
supposed to be fun. And this early tragedy was kind of a buzzkill. I know it
was meant to add gravitas to the
whole thing. But I don’t go to a DEADPOOL movie for gravitas.
Then, our buddy Deadpool becomes a trainee X-Man thanks to
Colossus bringing him into the fold. This should be really funny, and there are
some good moments, but then we come to his first big assignment. Trying to calm
down a kid who shoots fire from his hands, named Russell (Julian Dennison),
calling himself Firefist.
If you thought that “tragic event” early on brought things
to a halt, then you haven’t met Firefist. He hits the movie’s brakes in a
screeching, whiplash-causing way. Because, frankly, the kid sucks. As a
character, as a plot device, as a potential villain, I absolutely hated this kid. And, jokes on me,
because he’s a MAJOR player in the movie, so I’m gonna see a lot of him.
Whether I want to or not.
I say “not.”
DK: Did you have a bad week or something?
LS: No, just had my expectations crapped on, is all.
DK: In a way, we all expected the tone throughout to be
goofy, violent fun, with no darkness filtering through the script’s light, to
be poetic for a moment. Maybe all this dark stuff was deliberate, a way to
shatter the expectations of the die-hard fans.
LS: There’s dark for a purpose, and then there’s dark just
to tug at our heartstrings in a sappy way. Oh boy, this off-the-wall wacky
character can cry, too. Gee, isn’t that precious. Frankly, I can do without
that.
DK: I didn’t have as much of an issue with Russell. I
understand why he was in the plot based on what happens in the earlier scene,
and it gives Wade Wilson (Deadpool’s actual name, following the comic book
penchant for using alliteration for names) motivation to live throughout the
plot. One thing I liked about the casting was that this kid isn’t your typical
child character. He’s a tad overweight, not well spoken, and for some odd
reason developed a New Zealand accent halfway through.
LS: I had no problem with the actor played Firenose. It’s
his character I despised. And the whole
Edgy-Character-Bonds-With-Misunderstood-Kid crap. The kid works with the plot,
because the plot was lame. Reminds me of that little girl in LOGAN
(2017), except I didn’t mind her as much. First off, she was a better actor.
Second, she actually had some edge to her. But what’s with all these R-rated
superhero movies and bonding with kids? Just strikes me as a bit odd. You
remove restraints on language and violence and then add emotional ones. Save
that for the PG-13 crowd. I want ANARCHY!