Originally published in Cinema Knife Fight, August 31, 2010
With the release of its sequel, THE LOST SKELETON
RETURNS AGAIN(2010), I thought I’d give the original: THE LOST
SKELETON OF CADAVRA (2001), a quick once over before I cover the new
film (see above), seeing as how it’s one of the funniest movies I’ve had the pleasure to
watch since AIRPLANE (1980). And, to be honest, I’m having a
heck of a time getting my hands on a copy of the sequel (Hey, Netflix, what’s
the scoop???). So while I scour the globe (I think there might be one
Blockbuster left in Central Massachusetts….), let’s talk about the original.
Directed by Larry Blamire, THE LOST SKELETON OF
CADAVRA is a send up of the best (or worst, depending on your
viewpoint) of the 1950s and 60s cheese-ball science fiction/radioactive monster
movies. The best way to describe this: mix PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE (1959)
with THE CREEPING TERROR (1964), and for some insane reason do
this on purpose, then have your immensely-talented cast play
their parts as badly and/or over-the-top as possible, but do it all with an
obvious love for the genre and the movie-making era to which the film pays
homage, and you end up with a sentence which never, ever seems to end, but also
a warm, funny movie.
SKELETON is filmed in glorious black and white
(or “Skeletorama” as the DVD proudly proclaims) and looks so
much like an old 50s movie, my kids – who laughed their butts off when they saw
it – had a hard time believing it was less than ten years old. This is a
movie for all ages. Younger viewers might not get many of the references, but
it won’t dampen their obvious enjoyment of the film’s over-the-top goofiness,
at least if my kids were any indication.
The story revolves around our hero, scientist Paul Armstrong
(played by director Blamire) who is a man of science, with dreams of bettering
mankind, through science. Dr. Armstrong is on a working vacation with his wife
Betty (Fay Masterson). Betty, in proper dress and heels throughout, is looking
forward to time alone with her husband, but her man is obsessed with finding a
fallen meteorite and thus obtaining the rare element Atmosphereum, which –
somehow – will better the world, through science. The word “science” is the
only word used to describe what Dr. Paul Armstrong does for a living, nice and
generic and very funny in how it’s delivered (over and over).
Others also search for the same element. Villain number one:
Dr. Roger Fleming (Brian Howe), who needs Atmosphereum to bring to life the
legendary Lost Skeleton, our second villain and for whom Roger he has been searching for his entire life. In order to repair their
damaged spaceship, an endearing alien couple (from outer space): Kro-Bar and
his wife Lattis (Andrew Parks and Susan McConnell), need the Atmosphereum. They
also are trying to capture their pet monster which has escaped and is currently
running amok in the canyon. More on him later… To achieve both of their
goals, Kro-Bar Lattis need to “blend in” with the humans, so as not to attract
undue attention.
The three come together, along with a new character created
by scientist Roger: he uses a special ray gun to combine four different
woodland animals together into a woman he names Animala. His
new “pet” is a purring vixen in black spandex and one of the strangest (though
quite funny) characters in the film. Animala becomes the sixth member of one of
the all time best dinner party scenes you’ll have the pleasure to witness, as
Roger and Animala, Kro-bar and Lattis all try to steal Paul and Betty’s
Atmosphereum sample for their own evil, and not-so-evil, purposes.
OK, so there’s also been a rash of “Horrible Mutilations”
going on in the woods where our heroes are staying. Kro-Bar and Lattis’ escaped
monster – a creature so horrible, so grotesque (and brilliantly conceived), the
filmmakers spared us viewing it until the end of the movie because it’s simply
too shocking to accept at first. Not to mention this wouldn’t also be a parody
of old monster movies without the camera itself killing a few innocent
bystanders early on.
The best part of this film, I think, are conversations
between the characters. Aside from the dinner party scene, the best interchange
comes early on between Dr. Paul Armstrong and Ranger Brad (Dan Conroy), who
arrives at the cottage to warn the couple about the recent rash of “Horrible
Mutilations.”
Never before would I think two of the funniest words in the
annals of movie-making would be Horrible Mutilations. Life
is good, if not surreal, sometimes.
Now, there is an evil Lost Skeleton.
Once brought back to life, it controls Roger’s mind and makes him a slave to
its evil will. I’m not sure who actually does its “voice,” but he’s perfect for
it. To be honest, the Skeleton, title character or not, was my least favorite.
I mean yes, could be because as a young child I had this recurring nightmare of
an evil red skeleton chasing me into the Bat Cave. I would hide under the
Batmobile as a red glow came slowly down the bat poles, as the skeleton came
lower and lower and closer and closer….
(Shudder)
Anyway, skeletons in movies back then obviously frightened
me (not to mention the “something is not right here” humor of comedian Red
Skelton), and many others of my generation… which is why this skeleton is
perfect. Especially in the scenes when it rises on almost-invisible
strings, or marches through the landscape filmed only from the waste up for
obvious reasons (someone was carrying it).
For a movie that sets out to be as imperfect as possible,
and do it as perfectly as possible, there is one imperfection I should point
out. This joyous, goofy movie made me laugh out loud every time I’ve seen it,
but there is a point where I simply stop laughing. The last quarter of the film
seems to drag on a little long. As if Blamire wanted to achieve a certain
length film and stretched out the final scenes to make it fit. It could also be
that by that point in the movie I was simply tired of laughing so friggin’
much. The first three quarters of THE LOST SKELETON OF CADAVRA truly
are that funny, if you watch it in the right mindset.
As a nod to the cast and crew, no matter how much you enjoy
this movie, it probably pales compared to how much they seemed to enjoy making
it. As stilted and wooden as they portrayed their characters, the cast could
not hide from us the sheer joy they seemed to have in making LOST
SKELETON – even the skeleton itself seems to grin and wink at the
audience. So rent this film, turn off your brain and let it be what it is, a
funny, loving homage to a classic film style we simply don’t get much of these
days. (Maybe that’s a good thing, but after seeing this movie, I think perhaps
not.)